I Cant Stand Spam, At All

thank god for her infinite wisdom and blessing humanity with gmail because if it weren’t for them and their spam blocker I would most definitely be bald. I have been in a perpetual flame war with spammer’s world around for years, only recently have I become angered by their presence though. Every morning I wake up and have to crawl through my Drupal and phpBB apps to search out new users that are spam based and their posts/comments and It’s perhaps the most irritating thing I have to do, almost parallel to looking for dingle berries or remembering to Google girls before I am willing to go on dates with them. (No one wants to date one of those dumb bitches from Girls Gone Wild… its just not romantic when all you need to get them naked is a camera)

About four months ago I landed on my home page and saw a number of posts had been commented on, which I really do appreciate, but only when they aren’t spam about increasing the size of the king, Sir Richard or Elvis depending on where you are from. I am not self conscious, as I’ve been in quite a few pissing contests and even when I lose I rarely get wet. I find it irritating enough to be handed a picture of some new drug that has a single molecule difference from the one I was offered two days ago that causes colon or testicular cancer, but partner that with an idiotic advertisement of a woman with a huge smile on her face in order to make me feel guilty for only causing tears, and lots of screaming and clutching their stomachs and I begin to think. I guess in the perfect world ill only impress women by my smile, not the random fuck heads posting about their pills all over my forum.

Now, when I was 16 I was told to go back to Africa. I had no idea there was so much money to be made there. Between the pimping of aids ridden prostitutes, smuggling and trade of blood diamonds, drug/gun smuggling and spamming bank accounts around the web I have to fit in somewhere, right? I’ll tell you what, all you fantastic brains out there in the middle of rain forests and deserts, if you promise that I won’t get HIV or Ebola and you are interested in bringing together your communities under a central management scheme, hit me up. Ill gladly fly my ass out there and help your all out. Hell, we could run the next ingelosi-fire and guild Africa online or something else that the world has never heard of and probably doesn’t want to. But hey we would be rich right? Why should we try to be honest about making money I mean it may have worked for that Bill Gates guy or whatever, but I mean shit, It’s Africa right? Who needs to be honest in Africa? Here is an idea for all of you other countries with less than 15 computers connected to the interwebs… Sell your souls and make quick bucks by swindling. You will never be able to look at your clients in the eye or anything, but who needs to do that these days. That’s what dateline is for.

Between bombarding my website and email with garbage for the last four months and the torrential downpour of crazy porn links in my forums I have been really pushed up a wall. At one point I had everything locked down to the point that you couldn’t get involved unless you were approved directly by me, which really lead to more irritation as I had to watch everything like a hawk, which I really don’t like to do. I have brought a couple of the folks I trust into the loop and they are helping out when they can, so enjoy open postage and try to take part when possible.

Toodles

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