On Conservativism

I awoke this morning to another word that has lost its meaning, and I intend to add it to the list, promptly. My eyes cracked and I reached over for the remote. As the television blazed itself to life, I often turn it off at a high volume the night before to ensure I crap myself in the morning, I realized that comedy central and religious television were not going to get me to open my eyes any sooner than otherwise. Flipping through my “favorite” channels I landed on CSPAN’s Washington Journal where an eloquent older gentleman was answering questions about his book that is coming out soon. The book, Trainwreck: The End of the Conservative Revolution by Bill Press, sparked a bit of debate. A woman called in about 54 minutes into the April 4th show with a chip on her shoulder and began by attacking the man.

“You’re saying so many fallacious things. The bottom 40% of Americans do not pay income tax, so if you give a tax break, if you arent paying income tax, how are you going to get a tax break? The other thing… On hard ball you guys are so in the tank for Barack Obama. You never challenge him on his extremely liberal positions, you never… All you talk about is who’s gonna win, who’s gonna lose and how eloquent he was. I mean, that interview that he, Chris Matthews had at that college, I mean, I have never heard such fawning for a presidential candidate. I mean it’s a …[ she drones on into something unintelligible and is cut off of her diatribe. ]”

She is then asked a very pointed question by the narrator.

“hey caller, before we get an answer from mr press, what does being a conservative mean to you?” and all hell breaks loose.

“Uh, it.. it … Personal Responsibility. It means, uh… getting the head boost on uh your hard work, your merit, not your color. Not your sex. And as far as gov’t working are you kidding? Katrina, that was a completely Democratic state,” Laughter goes on for a few minutes while the man tries to answer her without making her look like a fool.

“I am laughing because FEMA is a Federal agency, it was a cabinet agency, under Bill Clinton. […] It was known as the best run federal agency of all time. George Bush took the money out of it and he put it into the bowels of the department of homeland security. It was a federal agency. And when the call came from Louisiana, id didn’t matter if it was a democratic governor or republican governor […] and when the call came from the state, for help, and tens of thousands of people the federal government failed at the job. It was a federal government, Republican, Failure.”

A few days ago i had a discussion with a member of the atheist nation to the tune of trying to figure out why liberal is a bad word in todays politics. I supplied many reasons for it to be otherwise and even brought out the dictionary, c/o google, to help to solidify my position to which we had the following discourse.

Guy 1 “well, I am a conservative, when it comes to money.”

Bob “You cannot be a conservative about money and not have it apply anywhere else. You do not understand the word if you believe as such. You may be conservative about money but you are not a conservative. The words do not carry the same meaning in these different contexts.”

Being a conservative has grown to mean something that the word itself does not, and unfortunately the world has not caught on entirely to be able to realize this juxtaposition. Ignorance is bliss but if you, a southern poor farmer, believe your social standing or label of Conservative to be the same as a politician raking in 6+ figures a year that calls themselves the same thing you are deluding yourselves. Maybe we should begin work on a book entitled The Conservative Delusion to try to get people to realize the weight of their chosen route through life. You should take a moment to jump on the Conservapedia and try to guess what they may think about the rest of us. For further information about my thoughts on allowing ignorance to guide you through life, please consult an article i wrote a while ago, Ned and his anal beads.

When we are in a bind we all look to our liberal friends for money or food;it is as though a piece of us needs to know that the world is not as difficult and mean as our landlord appear to believe it is. We all should be ashamed of those around us that choose, instead, to look at liberals as people who are to be taken advantage of. I was asked recently about where i felt/thought morals came from if not the bible, and i think now more than ever the morals of the bible prove that there is a problem. No, i am quite certain, as certain as i am there is no god in fact, that the morals we take for granted came about within the daily interactions of groups of early people. I can imagine four guys standing on a ledge looking out at a majestic ocean. One man turns to another and clubs him over the head, brains spray everywhere. the second pair is looking at this with a look of wonderment in their eyes. “hmm,” they think at the same time, ” if we dont do something that pancaked head guy could be us…” they look at each other and shrug before shoving the douche off the ledge together. A few grunts and a hand shake later an agreement has been made and the two men continue forward making further enhancements to the groups interactions and the moral majority had begun.