Standards, Do you meet mine?

Giovanni Ribisi

Two weeks ago I took time out of my busy Sunday afternoon to step into the Men’s Warehouse and get myself a couple suits, that actually fit properly. Two suits, four ties and a bunch of new dress shirts later I made my decision about what i wanted and purchased the material. In total I was in the shop for about 2 and a half hours, but who’s really counting.

Names were exchanged, I picked up my salesman’s business card and we shook hands.

We laughed and joked about nonsense and i gave them a hard time, as i often do.

For those of you who have met me off of the internet you will have to admit, I’m not like most people. I tend to stand out and be more than provocative. In going back yesterday to see if the suits were done… apparently… they didn’t remember my name.

As a sales person you are really only responsible for a few things, probably in this order.

  1. Know your customer
  2. Keep your customer happy
  3. Ring your customer up appropriately at the till
  4. Give your customer a kind parting comment
  5. Remind your customer of who you are

As an ex salesman i can tell you, occasionally the way to keep them happy was to send them to another store that had a better deal, sometimes it meant that you had to wait on them hand and foot or carry 32 ionic breezes out to their Porsche and help her tie them down so they don’t slide off when she whips around the corner, doing 80.

No matter how you spin it though, you cannot forget a customer’s name. That name is a connection that says, yes i know you. I know you on a first name basis and while we may not be drinking beers after work this evening, i am trust worthy and able to be turned to with even the darkest of news. I am reminded of the movie Boiler Room. The main character, played by Giovanni Ribis, is the greatest of sales people. He gets his notes together and even with the fact that his job is bullshit and stealing money he is able to pull in thousands from people OVER THE PHONE. Why?

BECAUSE THEY TRUST HIM AND HE IS GIVING THEM CONVINCING BULLSHIT RESPONSES!

Folks, in case you don’t already know this… Sales people don’t care about you or your children. If anything they wish you didn’t have any in the first place so you could buy more of their garbage. I would go as far as to say that if your sales person says they care about you, you should probably look into finding another sales man.

Why am i so upset about all of this? because i don’t like being lied to, and moreover i hate having to be told that i am expecting too much from people when something that I’m expecting is something that has been expected of me in the past. One of my jobs actually wrote up salespeople who didn’t remember the names of their customers. Another one would force us to do file-a-facts cards that we were quizzed on, on a monthly basis. How on earth can sales people be unable to remember your name and be worth returning to?