The wife and I took 6 days off of work & baby duty to go to O’Ahu, with the plan of celebrating the wedding of a pair of good friends of mine, followed by a much needed celebration of our own. We had not done our honey moon, and with recent events – specifically a surprise pregnancy – it became rather important for us to take the dive and head out into the pacific to see what Hawaii had to offer. This is a chronicle of our experiences on Honolulu and Maui.
Stepping out of the terminal, the first thing to hit me was the heat and humidity. I was by no means an idiot, I had a thin shirt on – but I made the mistake of wearing jeans. We left CA and it was in the 60s, after all, and the flight attendant made it perfectly clear that if I kept trying to take my pants off in the aisle she was going to have to take me into the galley for some one-on-one time. We landed in Honolulu international around noon, and found our shuttle, then popped over to the Hilton Hawaiian Village.
Up until this point in my life, the highest I’d ever been was about 12 years ago with friends on weed, we checked in and they upgraded our room to the top floor of the Tapa Tower, the 35th floor – the view was amazing and the altitude did wonders for my sinuses, as well as my colon. We had just enough time to check in and get dinner before having to get a cab over to the Waialae Country Club for cocktails for all of the wedding goers. The wife and I, from here on out referred to as We, flagged down a cab, popped in and told him where we needed to be getting off to.
Herro. Where you go?
Aloha!, can you take us to the Waialae Country club?
Where you go?
The Waialae Country Club. Can you get us there?
How you sperr?
W, a, I, a, l, a, e
Oh you want go country crub?
Okay, we go.
This grown ass man then commences to take back roads, doubling back on himself and singing the theme song to MASH to himself while charging us the whole way. A trip that google said would take 16 minutes, and is a whole 5.1 miles away, cost us 48 dollars and took us nearly 50 minutes. Nish git.
Thankfully we carpooled back to our hotel and avoided the cost of the taxi. This is not the first time that the public transport of Hawaii will impact our day.